I've been going crazy the past few months... I was losing weight pretty good while I lived alone, because I could hide the fact that I'm not eating, but doctors put me on risperidone and paroxetine after my suicide attempt. Since that I have gained 22 pounds and I can't stop the weight gain even though I work out 6 days per week for at least an hour... Also, I'm pretty much under a magnifying glass - my parents and family are now horribly controlling. I tried purging, but I was quickly caught... I said I ate an apple without washing it first (I still can't believe I got out with this excuse)... I keep whining to my doctors and my parents about my weight, and my mom finally gave in - I will be allowed to use a nutritional/weight-loss milkshake that helped my mom lose weight some time ago. I still try to think of ways to avoid food, but it's really, really hard. I don't want to make excuses, but my meds give me horrible cravings. I count every calorie, but the weight is still fluctuating. I am terrified of gaining any more, seriously... Although I think things will improve now that I gained the trust of my family, and they think I am not having any thoughts about restricting or anything... I feel like I should use this chance to get my body back. I missed it... Moreover, I will have some pretty big concerts this year, and I want to look fantastic on stage!
Wish me luck!